Navigating Grief During Ramadan and Eid: Finding Comfort in Faith

Ramadan is a time of reflection, devotion, and togetherness. It is a month where Muslims fast from food and drink, pray, and seek spiritual closeness to Allah. But for those grieving the loss of a loved one, this sacred time can also be a poignant reminder of their absence. The suhoor and iftar meals feel emptier, the tarawih prayers (night prayers) may bring tears, and the joy of Eid can instead feel bittersweet.

If you are mourning during Ramadan, know that grief is a deeply personal journey, and it’s okay to experience a mix of emotions. Islam acknowledges the pain of loss, and the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself grieved openly for his loved ones. Here are some ways to find comfort and strength during this time:

1. Seek Solace in Prayer

In Islam, no prayer is turned away or forgotten. Turning to Allah in times of sorrow is one of the most powerful ways to find peace. Make heartfelt prayer for your loved one, asking Allah to grant them mercy and Jannah (Heaven). Reciting Qur’an can bring peace to the heart, reminding us our loved ones are in Allah’s care.

“I respond to one’s prayer when they call upon Me." (Qur’an 2:186)

2. Honor Their Memory Through Acts of Charity

One of the most beautiful ways to remember a loved one is through sadaqah jariyah— which means ongoing charity in their name. Whether it’s donating to a cause they cared about, providing meals to those in need, or sponsoring a well, these acts can be a source of continuous reward for them.

"The example of those who spend their wealth in the cause of Allah is that of a grain that sprouts into seven ears, each bearing one hundred grains. And Allah multiplies ˹the reward even more˺ to whoever He wills. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing. (Qur’an 2:261)

3. Lean on Your Community

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Ramadan is a time of community, and leaning on family, friends, and your local masjid for support can help ease the pain. Sharing memories, praying together, or simply being in the presence of others can bring comfort. Allow others to support you as Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) teaches us

"The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever".

4. Allow Yourself to Feel

Eid can be a difficult time when someone you love is no longer there to celebrate with you. Give yourself permission to feel joy, sadness, and everything in between. Islam does not ask us to suppress our emotions but encourages us to turn our grief into a means of spiritual growth

"I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah {…} (Qur’an 12:86)

5. Remember the Promise of Reunion

One of the greatest comforts in Islam is the promise of the Akhirah—the Hereafter. Our loved ones are not lost forever; they are simply waiting for us in a place where there is no pain, no separation, only eternal joy. Holding onto this hope can make the days a little lighter.

Ramadan and Eid without a loved one may feel different, but through faith, remembrance, and community, their presence can still be felt in the love and kindness you share with others. May Allah grant peace to all those who are grieving and reunite us with our loved ones in Jannah (Heaven).

Guys Gift wish you Ramadan Mubarak! We hope these tips help bereaved Muslim families navigate Ramadan with greater ease and comfort. To access support, please complete a contact from through our website or phone us on 0845 467 3035.

 By Farida Haque (Bereavement Support Worker, Guy’s Gift)

Hospital Bereavement Support Packs - Project Update

Our story:

When a loved one sadly becomes end of life in hospital, their friends and family can find themselves spending a lot of time in hospital too. From our experience over the past 15 years of working with bereaved families, we know the importance of providing opportunities for children and young people to talk about their feelings and emotions during this difficult time.  

Whether a death is expected in hospital, or comes suddenly, having the right support in place helps children and young people to navigate what is happening, and the emotions this brings up.

Our idea for this project started forming in 2021, then conversations with some of the nurses on the McGregor Ward at Warwick Hospital brought our concept to life. It became clear that there was real need for resources available to healthcare professionals supporting a family through bereavement, and we knew we had the expertise to put something meaningful together.

Back in 2020, we launched our Educational Bereavement Resource Packs for schools. A project to ensure teaching and pastoral staff have access to a variety of books, activities and guidance. To date, we have delivered almost 250 packs to primary and secondary schools across Coventry and Warwickshire, transforming the advice and support we could offer in the educational sector. This got us thinking, could we create something bespoke for the healthcare sector too?

Our project:

With thanks to fundraising from the Royal Leamington Spa Rotary Club, we were able to bring our ideas into action. After a lot thought and consideration from the Guy’s Gift team, we developed our Bereavement Support Pack.

We decided that the packs were for the family to be given whilst on the hospital ward, and to have the opportunity to take them home with them. They are designed to ensure that no child or young person has to face grief alone, by encouraging conversations with family, friends and healthcare professionals around them.

We have created a careful balance between promoting education around death and dying, along with an age-appropriate awareness and understanding of the feelings that come with this. We are also mindful of how precious certain moments can be, so the packs ensure that the child or young person has opportunities to capture the memories of their loved ones.

Our first set of packs were delivered to the McGregor Ward at Warwick Hospital in March 2024 by our team of volunteers at Electronic Arts (EA), based in Southam. Over the last year, it has been heartwarming to hear of how they have transformed the bereavement offer of the hospital. The success has a real community-feel to it, with thanks to our local volunteers and fundraisers, along with inaspiring conversations with local nurses to ensure the packs were exactly what they children and young people needed.

Due to the initial success, we understood the importance of securing continued funding to reach other hospitals across Coventry and Warwickshire. We are delighted to share that Intercity Technology, who supported the new Sensory Garden at Warwick Hospital, were on-board when they heard about our project. They have decided to fund our desire to expand our Hospital Resource Pack project, both within Warwick Hospital and to other hospitals across Warwickshire.

Following a SWFT bereavement networking event, Guy’s Gift were able to develop connections with healthcare professionals based in University Hospital Coventry and Warwickshire (UHCW). After further conversations, it was decided that the next set of packs would be delivered to the children’s ward and the palliative care ward at UHCW. We are very much looking forward to seeing how this can continue to transform the bereavement support offer for children and young people visiting these wards.

Our future vision:

We are looking for donations to continue funding this incredibly important project. We know first-hand the difference this can make to bereaved children, young people and their families when they need our support most.

Our vision for our school based Bereavement Resource Pack is to ensure every single school across Coventry and Warwickshire receives a pack. So, why not shoot for the stars with this one too?

Could you be part of our story in ensuring all hospitals across Coventry and Warwickshire have access to a Bereavement Support Pack? Please get in touch below if you would like to discuss this further. 

How to support children when a prominent public figure dies suddenly

When a public figure dies suddenly, it can be hard to understand. There may be lots of different information in the media, some of which can be confusing or sometimes even inaccurate.  Or information may be updated and change quite quickly.   It can feel like you can’t get away from the news, with everyone talking about it. 

This might bring up memories for children and young people about what it was like for them when someone important to them died. Some of the things being talked about in the media may be similar to their own experiences.  It’s important to try and talk with your children about what has happened, being as factual as you’re able to be.

We know that news like the death of a young pop star, for example, can trigger memories and emotions that can be hard to face. Here are some tips that can help you to support your child.

Following the death of anyone, children can become worried that the same is going to happen to other important people in their lives. It can be helpful to reassure children, where possible that this isn’t about to happen. It is important, however, not to make impossible promises.

We have guidance sheets on our website here, which share things to be considerate of in this situation. Use clear and concise language. Avoid using words or phrases like ‘loss’ or ‘gone away’. Although it can feel a bit clinical, using factual words like ‘death’ and ‘died’ can be a lot clearer and easier to understand for children.

Children may have lots of questions about what has happened.  Whilst a lot of questions might happen immediately, sometimes it can be a while after the event that more questions are asked. This is the same when anyone important to your child dies.  Everyone has their own ways of dealing with death, and we all work on different time frames when we process news which is hard to understand.  Children particularly can react to grief quite differently to adults, and might show outward signs of grief one minute and the next they are playing happily with a sibling again.

Children look to their parents, carers, teachers to help them understand what has happened. They need support to understand why they are feeling how they do. It’s important to share with children and young people that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, upset about the death of someone significant, and that it can be helpful to talk with an adult about how they’re feeling. It is equally helpful for children and young people to be told that everyone grieves in their own way, and that there’s no right or wrong about how they feel.

If you would like to talk with one of the team here at Guy’s Gift to find out how we can offer support for grieving children and young people, please get in touch by calling 0845 467 3035 or email info@guysgift.co.uk

Golden Moments for Team GB!

How inspiring are the team GB athletes taking home gold at the Paris 2024 Olympic games?

Guy’s Gift wanted to give a special mention to Lola Anderson and Sophie Capewell, who have both talked bravely about their experiences of grief on their journey to golden victory…

Lola Anderson (Team GB Olympic Rower)

Pictured on the right with her team: Sophie Capewell (Team GB Olympic cyclist)

Let this be a reminder of how your loved ones will always be a significant part of your special “golden” moments throughout life.

We hope you continue to enjoy the Olympics and feel inspired by the stories behind the medals.

Go team GB!

International Women's Day 2024 - #InspireInclusion

How do we #InspireInclusion here at Guy’s Gift?

Inclusion is at the heart of what we’re about at Guy’s Gift. We’re invested in supporting women and girls to achieve the best outcomes, and providing a safe space for them to explore their emotions. This empowers girls to make choices that encourage success.

Within our staff team, we celebrate the diversity of our employees and volunteers. We recognise that diversity brings strength. We learn from one another and promote sharing of ideas to grow and to know that we provide a top class support for those children and families who come to Guy’s Gift after a loved one has died.

I spoke with some of the team here about what resources they use with children and young people to celebrate inclusion. Many of the favourite books the team use, empower girls and help them to recognise what they can achieve. We’ve shared a few of these favourites below.

Others in the team spoke about recognising leaders in the field of childhood bereavement. Those who passionately campaign for support for children and young people, and those who share their personal stories of grief so that their story may help others who are experiencing similar things. We know that sharing their story with others can help children and young people to navigate their grief, and to recognise that they are not the only ones experiencing this. Historically, death and dying hasn’t been talked about enough. It has been a taboo, which has led to deeper isolation in difficult times.  Sharing your story can be tough! So we thank those who are able to speak out and share their story in a way that is supportive of others and enabling children and young people to see positive role models.

We’re proud of the women in our team here at Guy’s Gift, and those in leadership roles who guide the charity to achieve top class support for bereaved children and young people. 75% of our board of trustees are women; women who give their time, expertise and experience to Guy’s Gift.

Children's Grief Awareness Week 2023

It’s Children’s Grief Awareness Week this week (16th - 22nd November), and we’ve held ‘Sharing Shape’ activities in the run up to the week again.

The Sharing Shapes activity is hosted by the Childhood Bereavement Network, and it’s a national activity which brings together bereaved children and young people across the UK to create a shared piece of artwork. This year, the theme is ‘The Shape of Your Support’ and we asked children and young people to share with us who or what supports them with their grief. This has opened up conversations about what support can look like and how different people can offer different ways to support at different times.

Below, you’ll see the shapes which have been shared with us so far (and shared for the national mural too). If you’d like to complete this activity with your child, or a child in your care then we’d love to see what they come up with too!

Volunteers Week 2023

It’s Volunteers Week 2023 and we’re taking the opportunity to say thank you and well done to our fantastic team of volunteers.  

Over the last year, our volunteers have collectively given over 500 hours towards supporting bereaved children and their families locally. This is HUGE! We’re so proud of them all!   

We’re a small charity making a big impact. We’ve supported over 3000 young people since we started 15 years ago. In the early days most of the team at Guys Gift were volunteers. As we’ve grown, we’ve gone on to employ a small staff team, but volunteers have always been essential to our success. We simply couldn’t achieve all that we do without them.  

We currently have volunteers who work directly with families, volunteers who fundraise for us, volunteers who build and deliver school resource packs and volunteers who act as trustees of the charity. All our volunteers make a difference, all of them are amazing - and they make us who we are. 

At Guy’s Gift we don’t need large numbers of volunteers, but we’re always looking for very special people who can help us make a difference to the lives of children and young people who have experienced the death of someone special to them. 

We’re currently looking for volunteers to help us with: 

• Our Bereavement Support Day in Kenilworth on 1st August 2023,

• Group sessions in Kenilworth and Nuneaton during the autumn term (there will be other locations and dates throughout the year too), 

• Fundraising at a time to suit you,

• Building and delivering Bereavement Resource Packs to local schools,

• Support with social media and website content,

• ...and we’re open to ideas for new volunteering opportunities.  

If you’re feeling inspired to join our volunteer team, please get in touch at volunteering@guysgift.co.uk

Top Tips for Successful Fundraising

We know how exciting it can be to get your fundraising ideas into action. So, how can you make the most of your online fundraising page and get your friends and family engaged to support you, and Guy’s Gift?

Guy’s Gift fundraiser, Brian Taylor, shares his top tips for helping make your fundraising a HUGE success when using Just Giving.

1. Write a story.
   Tell your supporters about why you’re fundraising, and why you’re fundraising for Guy’s Gift.
   Why is it important to you?

2. Include some eye-catching photos.
   A picture tells a thousand words, after all!

3. Set a target.
   If you set a target, your supporters will want to help you achieve it. You could link this target to what it will mean for Guy’s Gift too.

4. Share the news of your fundraising event as widely as you can.
   Use social media, emails, conversations with others. The more you share, the more people will know what you’re doing and be able to show their support!
   Don’t forget to tag Guy’s Gift on your social posts too.

5. Update those who have donated, or are thinking about donating with your progress.
   Bring your supporters on the journey with you.

6. Say thanks!
   Once you have completed your fundraising event, share how you got on.  Everyone loves a success story.

We’re on hand to help you set up fundraising pages, and we like sharing your fundraising endeavours with others too. Tell us what you’re doing, and how we can support you as you go.

Don’t forget, this year Guy’s Gift will celebrate 15 years of providing bereavement support and counselling for children and young people across Coventry and Warwickshire. We can’t wait to see what ‘15’ theme fundraising you come up with this year.

For more tips and ideas to start you on your fundraising adventure, you can email Brian on fundraising@guysgift.co.uk

Guy's Gift: 15th Anniversary

At the end of 2023, Guy’s Gift will have been providing bereavement support and counselling across Coventry and Warwickshire for 15 years.  During this time, we have supported over 3000 children and young people who have experienced the death of someone important to them.

As we head towards this milestone, we would like to invite you to come up with fundraising ideas around the theme ‘15’. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Set up a regular donation of £15 to Guy’s Gift. By heading over to our Just Giving Campaign

2. Complete a 15km run or walk

3. Give something you love up for 15 days (chocolate, favourite takeaway,…) and aim to raise £150 in the process.

4. Get a group of 15 friends together to compete in an event. This could be a garden sports day in the summer.

5. Hold a sponsored static bike event with a groups of friends, and take it in shifts to keep cycling for 15 hours.

We can’t wait to see what wonderful ideas you come up with, and don’t forget to let us know what you’re up to so we can ‘shout out’ about it too.

All fundraising pages can be set up and linked to our special 15th Anniversary campaign page here: https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/15thAnniversary

For more information, help setting up a Just Giving page, or to let us know what fundraising you’re up to, get in touch with us at fundraising@guysgift.co.uk

Christmas after someone important has died

For many people, Christmas is a wonderful time of year and something they look forward to.  However, if you have experienced the death of a loved one you may be feeling apprehension and uncertainty about the upcoming holidays. There’s no right or wrong way to be feeling at this time of year, whether it’s jumping straight into the festive period or giving yourself permission to not feel okay and to step back from traditions you might have previously loved being part of.

Some families tell us that Christmas feels like a happy distraction from the pain of grief, whereas others choose not to celebrate Christmas at all, to treat the day ‘like any other day’. Those who decide to do this tell us this is the only way they can comfortably face the day, without feeling the weight of their loss all over again. Parents or caregivers may struggle when faced with the fear of disappointing their children and are not sure how to carefully navigate it. Whatever your thoughts are about the upcoming holidays, its ok to feel whatever you feel and the plans you make (or not) are totally up to you. 

For those grieving, Christmas can feel overwhelming, lonely, and just too much. So many families have said “why isn’t there a pause button for Christmas, I can’t escape it, it’s everywhere”.  The thing is, pain and loss cannot be avoided. Christmas seems to be the bright ‘sparkling bauble’ wherever you turn. If you decide to go for a wintery walk during the festive period, you will mostly likely be greeted by fairy lights, blow up Santa’s and reindeers.  It seems the more time you spend avoiding something, the more it will appear in front of you when you least expect it.

A few years back, a young lady explained that she had planned to avoid Christmas as much as possible after her mother died. She spent Christmas alone, in her room, watching ‘non-Christmassy things’ on TV. When she needed to go to the shop to buy snacks a lone bauble fell off the shelf.  It rolled into the aisle whilst no one was around. Her subsequent breakdown in the shopping centre proved to her that the pain she was attempting to avoid was already there. By trying to hide from it, she wasn’t prepared for the emotional fallout when grief found her of its own accord.

Christmas will never be the same. The Christmas’ of the past are now memories, some of these marked with sadness. Parents and caregivers of children and young people may be asking themselves ‘what do I do?’, ‘how do I make Christmas work for my children and I?’ The answer is already there in your mind. It won’t be the same. The challenges cannot be avoided. So instead, I ask you, what does Christmas look like now? Are you able to use the same decorations as the years before, is it time to get a whole new set? Do you even need or want decorations at all? What do your children think? What are you all brave enough to face? How are you all going to get the courage to face each other on Christmas morning and say, ‘Hey, I know it’s different, I miss them too, I love you, Happy Christmas’.

Whatever you decide to do this year, and for subsequent years, Christmas can be defined as something new.  It could be as simple as seeing it as an opportunity to feel love and gratitude for those important people who have died, and to show those who are still with us how much we care.

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 Top Tips for Christmas Time 

• Accept your grief. Sometimes the anticipation and run up to something can be more difficult than the day itself. Allow yourself to grieve.

• Carrying on with family traditions can provide comfort and stability for some. You may decide to keep some, lose others, or create new ones.

• Set boundaries for yourself. What do you feel able to participate in, and what do you want to remove yourself from?

• Tell friends and family how you want to celebrate this year. Maybe you fid it easier in a big group of friends so that you’re not the centre of attention, or maybe you prefer to enjoy time with just a few special people.

• Build new memories.  Maybe you could create your own Christmas bauble in memoriam to the person who has died. Once you are done you can find a special place to display it or hang it on the Christmas tree.  You might find this a comfort to bring out year after year.

• Set aside a specific time during the day to remember the person who has died. You can ask someone to say some nice words over Christmas dinner, maybe write down a short message or even just take a few moments of reflection together as a family.

Whatever you do, and however you chose to spend Christmas, it’s okay. The most important thing is that you do what you feel comfortable with, and don’t put pressure on yourself to celebrate if you don’t feel up to it.

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Guy’s Gift provides bereavement support and counselling for children and young people across Coventry and Warwickshire.
We provide this support free of charge.

If you would like to donate to Guy’s Gift to help support bereaved families, you can do so on our Just Giving page.
All donations go directly towards the support of bereaved children and young people.