Following the death of her dad, Kerry’s school contacted Guy’s Gift seeking support for her and her siblings. Kerry was struggling to go into school and her behaviour was very different from before.
The death had come out of the blue and was a big shock to the whole family. Dad was a central part to the family’s day to day living and everyone found it very hard to get their heads around what had happened.
Following our initial visit with the family, we knew that Kerry would benefit from one-to-one support with one of our counsellors, but we also recognised that her siblings would benefit from our group support sessions. So, with the family, we decided to bring everyone to our group sessions and then follow up on a one-to-one with Kerry.
During the group sessions the family met with other children who had also experienced the death of someone really important to them. Kerry’s younger brother Tommy told Guy’s Gift how helpful he found it to talk to another person his age who knew what it was like for their dad to die too. During one of the activities Kerry and Tommy felt ready to share with each other about how they were feeling. They were finding it difficult to talk about Dad at home, because they didn’t want to upset each other. However, at the group this became easier because they knew they were all together for that reason.
The next week, Mum talked to Guy’s Gift and said how much happier the children seemed to be that week. She thought this was partly down to them talking more openly with each other and not bottling up their feelings so much.
At the end of the groups, as agreed, we worked with Kerry on a one-to-one for 6 more sessions. We met Kerry every other week in school. Kerry has been particularly close with Dad, feeling that she had a special bond with him being the oldest child, so she really felt the impact of his death. She missed him, and she missed the time she spent with him, just the two of them. She felt angry that he had gone, and also worried that she was going to forget things about him. We worked with Kerry to think about how to hold on to memories, and thinking about strategies that worked for her when she was feeling distressed.
Following our support, Kerry said she found it much easier to talk about Dad without getting upset, and her school attendance had improved. Dad always liked going for long walks over the fields near home, this was something that Kerry’s family had started doing more regularly and was something that Kerry looked forward to each week. Kerry said she liked to share funny memories of Dad during these walks.
Later the same year, the family came to our Lantern Walk. At the Lantern Walk, Kerry talked about the strategies she had put in place over the previous few months, and shared these with another young person. Kerry told us that being able to talk about Dad without feeling silly about getting upset had made it easier for her. She said that she got upset less these days, and when she did she used her memory box to help remember the fun times.
